Just Keep Smiling

Sometimes you just have to laugh, especially when things are going wrong.  Well, to be fair, when things aren't going as planned.  Isn't there an old saying that says something like "If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." 

As a Christian, I'm more than happy to let God handle the planning and be in control.  But sometimes the circumstances in our lives are just funny.

I'm not one to debate the "whys" of life.  Why did I get cancer? Twice?  Why didn't I marry my husband when we were in college, instead of a million years later? Why did my husband have to go through the pain of losing his first wife....and my kids losing their mother?  We could go on with "why, why, why?" all day long.  We will never know all the answers here on this earth.  All we can do is develop as positive an attitude as possible, surround ourselves with family and friends, and our faith....and keep plowing through....making this life as good as we can make it.

But there are days when you'll just need a sense of humor about the whole thing.  Yesterday was one of those days.

Yesterday was our wedding anniversary.  Yay!  I'm so blessed that after nine years of marriage, I love my husband more now than ever.  Our union is strong.  Like I posted on Facebook yesterday, I didn't really believe in soulmates until he and I married.  Praise God.  I also must congratulate my kids who have also put up with me for nine years. How wonderful it is to choose each other, and choose to love and care for each other as parent and child.

So, all of this is wonderful.  And that's what stands out most.  But usually, you take time on your anniversary to go to dinner and have a romantic time together.  Yeah, not for us, not this year. Didn't happen. 

I'm recovering from surgery (which I'll blog about soon), and while I'm doing very, very well, I'm not supposed to exert myself too much, and especially carry heavy things or put pressure on my arms and chest.  So, I'm taking it easy.  Then my poor hubby comes down with a flu or virus....he's coughing, congested, running a fever.  All he can do is go to bed!  If you know my hubby, he doesn't sit still for much.  He can barely sit long enough to watch a movie!  And he was in bed all day Tuesday!
His fever finally broke overnight into Wednesday, but he was still very low energy and not at the top of his game. We've spent most of our time at opposite ends of the house. The last thing I need recovering from surgery is to get sick.  

So, on our anniversary, I'm sore and recovering, he's sick and lethargic... not exactly the dream day.
No romantic dinner for us...no candlelight and flowers.

But you know what? It was still a good day.  We spent the day together, and laughed at our situation, and realized that we celebrate EVERY DAY of being together.  We'll go out to dinner sometime soon. We'll have our candlelight and flowers on another day.

Yep, we'll always remember our ninth anniversary.  And I'll remember it fondly...because it was another day spent with the man I love...and that's something I want to celebrate every day, not just once a year.  :)

So, what about you?  What's your favorite memory of something going wrong, but yet you were able to adapt and laugh through it? 

It really is your attitude that can make your day better, or get you through the less than ideal situations.

Just keep smiling.

Detours and Roadblocks

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted.  Didn't mean to let so much time elapse between postings.  Hopefully, I'll get better. 
Lately, I've experienced a lot of roadblocks in my plans, actually roadblocks for life in general. One particular issue, which I will share with you soon, has lead me down a completely different path.  In this case, the roadblocks were God-given, and detoured me to a much better place.  Yay!  So, not all roadblocks are bad.  Some detours are more scenic than others and worth the hassle of being there.
What is frustrating me is getting past the roadblocks. You've just jumped over one and now you're merrily traveling down your new path, when another roadblock hits. This one is fairly minor, yet put together by all the recent detours, well, it just weighs you down. 
Now I start to wonder what God is trying to teach me.  Patience? Persistence? Perseverance?  Ahhh.....the three P's.  Wait, four P's -- Prayer.  Maybe I'm not praying enough.  I don't know.
With all of these roadblocks, how do you know when to quit or when to keep on going?  How much is too much?  That's what confuses me. 
Right now, I'm hanging on to the notion that the recent roadblocks are good ones, and the detour is well worth it.  I'm just ready for a "steady as she goes" path for a while.  But that takes patience, persistence, perseverance and prayer. Sometimes we learn those lessons the hard way.

A New Year - what are you waiting for?

The New Year has dawned, and we survived the holiday season. So, how are you doing on your new year's resolutions?  Have some already gone by the wayside?

For me, I don't think I've even started yet. I'm still a little disorganized and not completely on my game plan for 2011. I feel like I've been running behind ever since we returned from spending Christmas out of town. Is life going on without me? 

That may sound like an odd thing to ask. Yet here we are at day six of 2011 and I've attended my first memorial service.  I've already had a doctor's check-up (which was good, thank God), and have celebrated my husband's birthday. 

So when, during that time, have I had a chance to get to "normal"? To start with a scheduled routine of day-to-day activities?  Nothing has seemed normal so far. 

But I suppose, in many ways, this is normal.  Life has gone on...even death has come and that's part of our life cycle.

And tonight, I sit with my author friend at our weekly writing night - the first one of the new year.  I nearly cancelled after an emotional afternoon at the memorial service. But I didn't. I'm here and I'm writing.

Hey, maybe the routine has finally begun. :) 

That's it! That's what my new years resolution is going to be: Just show up!  Make an effort, even if it doesn't fit perfectly into your plans, even if distractions keep tugging at you. It's time to get going... to jump into the cycle of life, whether you're "prepared" or not.

You never know what's going to happen when you just show up.

Bring it on 2011!

Reaching Out

Are there ever times when you are overwhelmed by the people in your life?  Overwhelmed in a good way, I mean.  Overwhelmed by their love, kindness, willingness to go the extra mile in the spirit of friendship and fellowship?

That's happening to me right now.  And I am indeed overwhelmed, feeling so blessed and so grateful to have these friends in my life.
 
I'm not always good at reaching out.  I tend to be a private person, and it takes a lot for me to open up.  I don't ever want to be the one that when my friends see my caller ID, they groan because there's something else I need.  I think that's why I sometimes hesitate to ask for help.  I never want to burden my friends.  Yet, I want my friends to lean on me if they have a need. In the long run, it really is a two-way street. 

It's taken me a little while to learn this lesson: to open up, to trust, and just to share.  But right now, I'm feeling the blessings and the love, and the goodness of God that is coming from the friends and family around me, just because we've taken the time to share together and trust. 

I love that God brings people into our lives just when we need them...and most times when we least expect them.

So, take a moment and reach out to someone.  Even if it's through email or a Facebook post.  Let them know you care.  Then you'll find that it is true:  It is so much more fun to give than to receive!
Happy Christmas, friends!
 

The Holiday Season

Doesn't it seem like from Thanksgiving to the end of the year, life moves at a very hectic pace?  Thanksgiving seems to sneak up on us, then all of the sudden we're in the whirlwind of the holidays.  This year, that whirlwind included an open house that we threw for 60 guests, and includes our son's (and his girlfriend's) college graduation.  Literally, there's something going on every weekend until the new year.  Plus, both my hubby and I have had pretty rotten colds.  Nothing like sinus pressure to throw you completely off your groove!

But we keep plugging away.  I'm trying to enjoy everything about Christmas and not stress over the details.  Our open house was hectic, crazy, crowded and fun! We are so blessed to have been in the DFW area for only three years and have all of these wonderful people share an afternoon and evening with us.  God is good.

I'm slowly learning that it's okay to reach out to people even when things aren't going well.  I always try to be so positive and don't want to burden folks with my problems or hurts or discouragement.  Yet this blog alone has proven to me that people want to help, to lend an ear, or even just a shoulder.  But I've also learned you need to be there in return.  Isn't that what friendship is all about?  Heck, isn't that what human kindness is all about?

So, don't stress this year. Let's keep showing that human kindness.  Enjoy every moment of the craziness, family, food, and friends! As Seals and Crofts once said: We may never pass this way again.

God's blessings for a wonderful Christmas and very happy new year! 

Thanksgiving

Be thankful in all things.  Even the tough stuff... there's usually good that comes out from the other side of the bad.

Be blessed! 

I Don't Wanna Play Anymore...maybe...

As you can tell by my infrequent posts, I'm sick of talking about cancer.  I'm sick of thinking about it...there are days I wished it never touched my life. I guess it's not uncommon to feel that.  But when cancer struck me a second time, in a much more serious and scary way, I was bound and determined to be positive about it, to make that time, as frightening and painful as it was, be worth something.  I wanted to feel renewed and have an eternal optimism for life.

All in all, yes, I'm very positive, and yes, I love life.  But there are days I just don't want to play in the cancer sandbox any more.

As my husband has to remind me periodically, I don't have cancer anymore.  It's gone.  They took it out. That's why I had a mastectomy, changed my body...and whether I acknowledge it or want to acknowledge it, it changed me.

But I'm done with that now. I'm ready to move on.  Except visits to my doctor every three months (although the reports are good!), and now a recent visit to my plastic surgeon to finally discuss reconstruction options, I'm done with this. These visits keep reminding me of this insidious disease.  Heck, looking in the mirror reminds me of this disease!  Still, I have to believe I'm done and there's more to do.

So, where do I go from here? How do I cope? I started this blog with the idea of providing encouragement, hope and a positive attitude.  But there are times when I get tired of thinking about it all. I just want to be a "normal" person again.  I guess in many ways, I have yet to adjust to my "new" normal...whatever that may be.

Of course, I could be in this frame of mind because I'm about to have a "job" change -- and 2011 is going to be totally different. I get to do what most people can never imagine doing... I get to pursue my dream full time.  I'm currently serving as vice-president for ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers...check us out at www.acfw.com), and my term ends at the end of December.  I've stepped back from most of my other volunteer things, and with the exception of a few paying contract jobs, I am free to write starting in 2011.  Whew...that's exciting, yet daunting, in a lot of ways.  I'm just hoping and praying I have the stamina and gift it takes to complete a manuscript or two!

It's weird... sometimes I feel like I cope better with things that are out of my control. Like getting cancer.  I HAD to have surgery, I had to deal with poking and proding from doctors...and yes, while it's a roller coaster ride, you know you have to go along for that ride. 

Now, things are back in my control, so to speak (as a Christian, I know God is in control)... but with my writing dreams: I have to sit my butt down in my chair every day and have my hands on the keyboard and get to work...creating and writing, even when my muse has abandoned me and the last thing I want to do is create and write.  It's then I have to remind myself that when it flows, the writing is so sweet and there's nothing else in the world I want to do.  I have to trust that God gave me this gift, so He'll use it for His purpose. Even that knowledge doesn't make it any less scary or intimidating. 

This is my chance to live the rest of my life. My cancer is gone, and by God's grace, it's gone forever!  Now is the time to follow my dreams, not procrastinate and not waste this life.  So, while I'm tired of talking cancer, maybe it's purpose is to lead me to this next phase...the "pursuing my dreams" phase.  And if my writing is fuller and deeper, and helps just one person in any part of their own life journey, then it's worth it all.

Okay, 2011 -- bring it on.  I may have to detour for more surgery, but the reconstructive kind, so that may be positive in the long run...then hopefully the writing will come, the words will hit the page.  Who knows, maybe that will be reflected through this blog as well.  Shall we continue on this journey? 

Let's go!

Keep on truckin' everyone!

The Pinking of America

It's October, and you can't help but notice there's A LOT of pink around.  I heard the expression that it's the "pinking of America."  So true.  October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Turning everything pink in October has been a very successful campaign in making folks aware of breast cancer. Unless you live in a cave, I'm sure you're aware of breast cancer.
But there's a doctor out there, Dr. Susan Love, who has partnered with Avon, to create an organization called "Army of Women."  Her goal is not just to bring awareness of breast cancer, but to actually find a cause and a cure. Then take the next step and PREVENT breast cancer all together.  She's trying to dig deeper, get studies funded, get volunteers for studies, and do whatever it takes to eradicate this disease forever.  So, while I applaud the pinking of America in October, and yes, I'm even wearing my pink rubber bracelet this month, I must applaud folks like Dr. Love and the Army of Women program even more. Awareness is one thing, a very good thing, but finding the cause, cure, and complete ERADICATION of this hideous disease would be even better.
www.armyofwomen.org